I Know That Look
Michael J Markoff
A recovering New Jerseyite, I practiced oral & maxillofacial surgery until retiring in Clayton, NC with my wonderful wife, and adorable labradoodle. I write science fiction, essays, and poetry, as well as maintain an extensive bonsai tree collection. ‘Never met a tree I didn’t like.
I’m published in: International Journal of Oral Surgery, Oral Medicine, and Oral Pathology (January,1986), Triangle Bonsai Society Newsletter, and Johnston County Literary and Historical Journal.
I am a member of International Thriller Writers, Neuse River Writers, and North Carolina Writers’ Network. DOUBLE BLIND is my debut novel.
I Know That Look
I’m trying to enjoy myself, trying to lower my shield, my level 5 force field. I’m doing my best to be at ease and reveal some of myself in hopes that it will be accepted, even reciprocated, by those around me. I really want it, BUT…there’s a pragmatic part of me that says, “You realize you try this every once in a while, and yet refuse to learn from the painful swat. You know that look. Remember the definition of insanity? Just sayin’.”
Seventy-plus years, and I keep beating my idealistic head against the proverbial wall. I know the answer but refuse to accept the nature of the human species. Whether through evolution or creation, humans are tribal: We seek the relative safety and security of those who look or think like us. We’re more likely to contribute to those more like us, our tribe and our kin, than to potential adversaries. We’ll tolerate more from tribal members than from outsiders, whether it’s different religions, races, genders, sexual orientations, generations, politics, even departments within the same company. It’s a macrocosm of the body’s immune system recognizing self-vs-other. It’s actually DNA-encoded xenophobia. Ancient. Atavistic. And entirely unnecessary in a modern diverse society that prides itself in tolerance and acceptance. Yet it remains, much to my chagrin.
As a yet-to-be-published author, I’m continuously learning about the business of writing. Like peeling an onion, once you get past a layer, sometimes shedding a prerequisite tear, there’s another layer to peel and examine seemingly forever. In seeking an agent for my debut novel, I’ve consulted many sources of information such as Publishers Marketplace and QueryTracker News which lists agents who have become open to queries (the standardized format used by those seeking agent representation). Once you find an agent that seeks your genre of book, you consult their Manuscript Wish List (MSWL) to discover specifically what they want. I won’t go into the particulars here because it would take an entire presentation and is a detour to the direction of this post. Inevitably, the agent population, easily ninety percent female, states they are seeking to represent ‘historically underrepresented voices’, ‘Queer’, and ‘BIPOC’ (=Black & Indigenous People of Color). Laudable missions all.
In The Quest for Cosmic Justice, by the great American thinker, Thomas Sowell, he points to numerous examples where pursuing lofty and progressive goals without carefully considering potential negative consequences resulted in exactly the opposite of the desired effects, to the detriment of all except those who patted themselves on their backs for their humanity or absolved themselves of guilt.
How would that apply to the noble intentions extolled in their MSWL? Perhaps by biasing their preferences in that manner, given an agent’s limited open slots for representation (a real zero-sum game) some better manuscripts might be passed over in favor of equity? In some cases that may be true. One consequence may be the undermining of confidence in an author’s work by the public, by the writing community (which is aware of this on some level), and even worse, the author herself, exacerbating the almost ubiquitous imposter syndrome most authors will experience at least to some degree.
I believe Sowell would agree the cure for historic prejudice is not counter-prejudice, but non-prejudice. Let the cream, all cream, rise to the top regardless of what tribe it comes from.
Now, I expect the look one reserves for troublemakers. I know that look.
MJ Markoff, 11/7/24
